Today: It's not enough to just have executive presence. We explore what it can and cannot do for you. Find out how executive presence works and what it means for you.

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

Transcript

So we've been talking a lot about executive presence and all the advantages, it confers, and some of the reasons why you'd really, it would really be good to have it for your career and your personal results. Well, today I want to talk about the limits of executive presence, right? It's not a magical quality that's the only thing you need to be successful. However, I want to very specifically address what some of the limits are and maybe what some of the myths are about what executive presence is and what it can and cannot do.

So executive presence and having executive presence, let's just assume, imagine yourself as having all the executive presence that you're ever going to have and it's awesome. People are just like, wow, you have amazing executive presence. That's the good news. The bad news is executive presence is not the same thing as being skilled in your area, and it's not the same as being an effective leader, right? Just because you have executive presence doesn't mean you're going to be effective as a leader. And it also doesn't mean that you're the best choice for the job.

So you may be wondering, Joe, what are you talking about, right? Everywhere I read, they say executive presence, or you even say executive presence sets the altitude for your career. Why are you downplaying executive presence now?

So to explain the nuance here, remember, executive presence is about how people feel about you, right?

And it's a very specific feeling. It's the feeling about how well you can lead in a given situation. So think about that for a second. The fact that you feel someone can lead well in a given situation is not exactly the same thing as them having the skills needed to lead. You believe they do. You probably believe they do, right? You'd be foolish to think that they'd have executive presence if they don't, but it's not the same thing.

Also, being an effective leader, which requires more than people just following what you do or feeling that they should follow what you do. There's a lot more to being an effective leader than just that.

So again, executive presence doesn't necessarily give you that as well.

And finally, and I think this one is the most important one and certainly one for upper management to consider if you're part of upper management. It does not mean that you or the person that you select, based on great executive presence is the best choice for the job. All it means is that you feel like they'd be the best choice for the job.

So what's the problem here? The problem is sometimes the person you feel is the best is actually not the best. They could just be the person who's the best at convincing everyone that they should feel that they're the best. They may not have the skills. They may not have the experience. They might not even have the right temperament or strategy or discipline to execute the job that you need executed.

And the North star, I think always for management, is what is the job that needs to get done and why. Not, who's the best person to pick, right? It's always about what is the eventual end goal for the organization for society, whatever your particular North star is. That's, what's guiding it, right?

It's not a personality thing or a personal thing. It's about what is the most effective way to go.

So all this, just to say, executive presence is one aspect and it's a very important aspect because if people don't feel that about you, it won't matter that you have the skill. It won't matter that you are effective or that you are the best choice for the job. If you don't have executive presence, it makes it much less likely that you will be recognized to fulfill your potential or that you will be selected for great opportunities. By the same token, just because you have executive presence, you don't necessarily assume that you have all those other things it takes as well.

So it's always important to have a realistic assessment of your skills and your gaps, and to get feedback from people and to consider all those things. So just because people are telling you you're great and they feel you're great, does not mean that there aren't other areas where you can and need to improve.

It's been great talking to you again. Would love it if you have any comments or questions on executive presence or reactions to any of these episodes, please record a message on Anchor.fm. I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for listening to Executive Presence Morsels. This is Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor. Remember, it's not what you say, do or wear, it's, how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing else matters.

Today: What happens when you don't look the part of an executive? It's not the end of the road. Find out how executive presence works and what it means for you. Thanks to Mark Cornwell for his insights, which informed this episode.

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

Transcript

Today, let's talk about one of my favorite executive presence topics, and that's diversity. Or as I like to call it, the Tom Brady problem. Not because I'm from the New York, New Jersey area and because of a football vendetta, but more so from a fun way of saying, if you look like Tom Brady, you really aren't going to have many problems with convincing people of your executive presence.

Well, the challenge there is most of us, myself included, don't even remotely resemble Tom Brady in terms of our successes or even our appearance. But for everyone else, I'd say like 95% or 98% of the people in the world, you're going to have some more challenges in terms of your executive presence.

And you're going to have to work a little bit harder to convince people.

Now, why is that right? Why does Tom Brady have it so easy? And to make it very simple, it's just expectations, right? There's a certain expectation, whether it's society or our biology or culture, or some combination of all of the above, that someone who looks and presents like Tom Brady is going to be a great leader.

Now, what that means for everyone else, is if you are in a position of leadership, like a CEO or a quarterback of a major National Football League team, and you don't have that same sort of mold, you're going to be considered an anomaly, right? Now anomaly doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means you're not meeting the general expectations of what people come to expect for that particular role.

And that's why there's a little bit more work to be done for those who don't look like Tom Brady. So what can you do, right? I'm never going to be able to throw a football the way he does. I'm certainly not going to be able to change my appearance or height or marry a supermodel anytime soon.

Here's one thing you can really do. And I learned this concept from a KPMG partner, Mark Cornwell, when we were having a discussion about executive presence and he was talking about the theater involved in executive presence, specifically in the context of high-level kind of partner or board meetings, right?

When you go into certain meetings, if you've been to enough of them, you'll start to see that there's a way these things happen and are put together. They're not random. And they follow certain conventions specific for that organization, for that audience, and, that time, which lead people to understand and expect that this is who's in charge. This is the timing of things. This is how important this is. This is how things are going to happen.

Just like when you go to the theater or you watch a certain genre of movie, like an action movie or a romance movie or a horror movie, there are certain similarities in the way these things occur that meet your expectations for that sort of thing.

So what can you do as an individual to leverage this theater? So, what you can do is think about the situation, right? Let's say you don't from an external perspective, if no one knows you, right, you go into a meeting and it's your first time as the CEO or your first time pitching to investors and no one would know you by reputation, yet.

What can you do? You can leverage the way people act, react and interact in that setting to signal that you are the leader and that can help assist the executive presence you already have, right? So in a particular meeting, does that person come in first or come in last, right? How are they introduced? Where do they sit? Even things like how talkative they are or how they work the room. These are all things that will build into the expectation and help you become less anomalous because you'll be fitting into the theater of what is normally expected for someone in that role.

So next time you have a situation where you may have the odds stacked against you and people may not expect it, think about the theater of how things work and how you can use that to your advantage.

Thanks for listening to Executive Presence Morsels. This is Joe Kwon, the Connection counselor. Remember, it's not what you say, do or wear, it’s how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing else matters.

Today: Can you have executive presence and be a terrible public speaker? Or vice-versa? Find out how executive presence works and what it means for you.

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

Transcript

People often think about public speaking and executive presence as one is the same, but in actuality, they're a little bit different though there is a lot of overlap. You can be the type of person that has outsized executive presence in a smaller setting or one-on-one or one to a few, but totally freezes up or is wooden or just horrible in terms of a large crowd.

I've been fortunate enough throughout my 20 plus career to witness lots of great public and executive presence and some where frankly, I was a little bit surprised. Like if you look at the level of the person and their reputation and maybe your personal interactions, you're kind of shocked when from a public speaking perspective, the executive presence that they normally have, doesn't really come through.

So what's going on and what can you do to ensure that you have great executive presence, not just in a smaller setting, but also on the big stage, which I would argue is not more important, but is equally as important as having executive presence in a smaller setting.

One thing that I've always tried to do is when I see a great public speaker, And someone who has amazing executive presence as part of their public speaking, I watched them like a hawk.

Now it's really important to know what to watch for. I'm not really looking particularly for any specific item, like, okay, how do they open or what are the exact words that they close? Right?

What I'm looking for is. What are they doing that enables them to connect to the audience? Right? So for example, if they say something and the audience laughs, then it's not so much that I should tell a joke, it's that they've identified where there is a situation where humor will help you connect with the audience either because there's some tension or maybe, they don't know what to expect, or maybe it's just a crowd that, you know, enjoys a good joke. They're able to deploy that, that particular strategy to connect with the audience.

So it's really important when you're watching a great speaker to understand why they're doing what they're doing and how it helps them connect with people, not just what they're doing. Because if you do the wrong "what" in the wrong place, then you're not really going to get the same result as that person had, just because you're imitating him.

So last point here, it really depends on the audience, right? If you go to Toastmasters or take any sort of public speaking course, one of the first things they say is it's not about you and your delivery, as much as it's about knowing the audience and knowing what their expectations and their needs are. Because the more you know them, the better you can understand what you need to do to connect with them, and once you're connected, you're full executive presence starts to come through with the public speaking.

So next time you see someone who's an amazing public speaker or has great executive presence, try this. Just watch them. Forget about the specific things they're saying, but watch for effect. Why is what they're saying connecting? How is it helping them connect with the particular audience, which in this case is you, and perhaps other people in the room.

I'd love to hear from you on Anchor.fm or on the app, if you want to leave a message with your thoughts or questions on executive presence. My name is Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor. Thank you for listening to Executive Presence Morsels. Remember, it's not what you say, do or wear, it's how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing else matters.