Today: What happens when you don't look the part of an executive? It's not the end of the road. Find out how executive presence works and what it means for you. Thanks to Mark Cornwell for his insights, which informed this episode.

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

Transcript

Today, let's talk about one of my favorite executive presence topics, and that's diversity. Or as I like to call it, the Tom Brady problem. Not because I'm from the New York, New Jersey area and because of a football vendetta, but more so from a fun way of saying, if you look like Tom Brady, you really aren't going to have many problems with convincing people of your executive presence.

Well, the challenge there is most of us, myself included, don't even remotely resemble Tom Brady in terms of our successes or even our appearance. But for everyone else, I'd say like 95% or 98% of the people in the world, you're going to have some more challenges in terms of your executive presence.

And you're going to have to work a little bit harder to convince people.

Now, why is that right? Why does Tom Brady have it so easy? And to make it very simple, it's just expectations, right? There's a certain expectation, whether it's society or our biology or culture, or some combination of all of the above, that someone who looks and presents like Tom Brady is going to be a great leader.

Now, what that means for everyone else, is if you are in a position of leadership, like a CEO or a quarterback of a major National Football League team, and you don't have that same sort of mold, you're going to be considered an anomaly, right? Now anomaly doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means you're not meeting the general expectations of what people come to expect for that particular role.

And that's why there's a little bit more work to be done for those who don't look like Tom Brady. So what can you do, right? I'm never going to be able to throw a football the way he does. I'm certainly not going to be able to change my appearance or height or marry a supermodel anytime soon.

Here's one thing you can really do. And I learned this concept from a KPMG partner, Mark Cornwell, when we were having a discussion about executive presence and he was talking about the theater involved in executive presence, specifically in the context of high-level kind of partner or board meetings, right?

When you go into certain meetings, if you've been to enough of them, you'll start to see that there's a way these things happen and are put together. They're not random. And they follow certain conventions specific for that organization, for that audience, and, that time, which lead people to understand and expect that this is who's in charge. This is the timing of things. This is how important this is. This is how things are going to happen.

Just like when you go to the theater or you watch a certain genre of movie, like an action movie or a romance movie or a horror movie, there are certain similarities in the way these things occur that meet your expectations for that sort of thing.

So what can you do as an individual to leverage this theater? So, what you can do is think about the situation, right? Let's say you don't from an external perspective, if no one knows you, right, you go into a meeting and it's your first time as the CEO or your first time pitching to investors and no one would know you by reputation, yet.

What can you do? You can leverage the way people act, react and interact in that setting to signal that you are the leader and that can help assist the executive presence you already have, right? So in a particular meeting, does that person come in first or come in last, right? How are they introduced? Where do they sit? Even things like how talkative they are or how they work the room. These are all things that will build into the expectation and help you become less anomalous because you'll be fitting into the theater of what is normally expected for someone in that role.

So next time you have a situation where you may have the odds stacked against you and people may not expect it, think about the theater of how things work and how you can use that to your advantage.

Thanks for listening to Executive Presence Morsels. This is Joe Kwon, the Connection counselor. Remember, it's not what you say, do or wear, it’s how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing else matters.

Monday, August 2, 2021

Today:

“Remember, it’s not what you say, do, or wear. It’s how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing. Else. Matters.”

Hello, this is Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor, and welcome to another edition of Executive Presence Morsels - bonus episodes. So we've been talking a little bit about how I make this podcast, as well as other podcasts. And so you can understand kind of the process and maybe you're the type of person who's thinking about doing a podcast yourself.

It's a really popular and creative medium, but maybe you don't have the confidence or the wherewithal to figure all that stuff out, in the crazy worldwide web with all the information that's out there. So what I'm trying to do here in 5 to 10 minutes is just share with you some of the basics that I've learned after years of doing this to maybe give you a jumpstart and get you started in the right direction.

There's plenty of additional information and you should probably talk to others, if you know, who've done this before. But hopefully this will just help you get situated.

So today we're going to talk about the polish, right. Making of a podcast - the polish. And what I mean by that is if you have been listening to podcasts, you'll notice that there's a difference between one that someone just makes on their own and one that's heavily, heavily produced right by a major news or production company. And here's the thing, even without all the resources and the staff, you can do little things to really Polish and upgrade the production of your podcast. So it seems, you know, nearly as good, right? No, one's going to mistake you for NPR tomorrow, but you can do things to really bridge the gap and they don't cost a lot of money and they aren't complicated. They just require a little bit of planning and execution. And probably the last part, which I'll talk about later, is consistency.

So, what are some of the basic things that make for a polished podcast? Well, one thing you'll notice is they always have an intro, right? And that intro could just be you talking about the show and what it's about. It could be someone, a friend or a person that you know, who does voiceover, who does the introduction. It can have a little bit of music playing in the background or you can go without music.

The key is. It's the opening of your show, kind of like when you watch a TV show or something on Netflix, it's that same opening every time. Now people can skip it or they can listen to it, but it's consistent and it's kind of a marker that, okay, this is where you are. This is what's going on and this is what's about to happen.

So, all podcasts and other media with sort of polish, have that consistent beginning, right? To let people know what's going on, and what's about to happen.

Let's switch to the tail end. One thing that also shows polish is your close. So, if I were just to end this podcast and say, "okay," and that was it, it wouldn't really feel like I put a lot of thought or energy into it.

So there's two ways you can handle the close - you can do similar to the intro and have something prerecorded, and just play that and drop that into the end of your episode every time. And the nice thing about that is it's truly consistent, right? It's like pre-recorded and you just drop it in and it's the same every single time. Again, you can use music or you can do without, you can do it yourself, or you can ask someone to help you do it. The key is you're going to leave a consistent kind of closing message a thank you. If you want a call to action. If you want some information or requests for them to do something like, follow the show or tell other people about it. Or even just to reflect on what's been going on.

So that way you kind of develop that...it's like a sandwich, right? You have that bottom piece of bread and the top piece of bread and your content, right? Your great content is what's in the middle of the sandwich, the tasty goodness in the middle of the sandwich. But, you kind of need, the open and the close to hold everything together. So those are two things that really help make your show seem more polished.

Also, I talked about consistency. That's also something that's really helpful. You don't want your show to be a different format every single time, unless your show is about being different every single time. Generally people are gonna want a consistent format. So if it's an interview show, you should constantly be interviewing, right? If there are certain types of questions or, or approaches you take, that should be fairly consistent.

Cause when people like that, they're going to want some more of that. They're not necessarily going to want you to drastically change everything every time. That makes people confused and they just want to typically be challenged, but also in a way that's relaxing and not jarring, right? So they can get the most out of the content you're producing. So consistency is also key even in the totally creatively generated things that aren't prerecorded. There should be some consistency about it.

And that's the last point I'm going to make on the polish is, most polished podcasts have a framework with which they always deal with. So if you were to look at the show behind the scenes, the way that clips are put together, you would see like opening segment, and then there's an intro, and then there's an introduction of the guest or introduction of what you're going to talk about. And then there's part one, there's part two, maybe there's part three. And then at the close, you have the closing actions - so requests, call to action. And you develop sort of a rhythm. It's like a routine that feels familiar and the more people listen to your podcast, the more familiar it will feel.

So I've tried to do that with my episodes. And when I do something different, I announce it is different, right? So these making of episodes are different than the Executive Presence Morsels episodes, which we'll be launching on July 5th, the day after Independence day. Can't wait to see you every weekday, 7 a.m.,five days a week for one year.

That's my commitment to you for one year, and really excited to start the journey with you. If you have any requests or any encouragement you'd like to share, please go ahead. I'll leave a link in the show description where you can easily leave a voice message on Anchor and let us know what you think about the show so far.

Thanks so much. I'm Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor. Remember, you can change your life - one connection at a time.

Today: Can you have executive presence and be a terrible public speaker? Or vice-versa? Find out how executive presence works and what it means for you.

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

Transcript

People often think about public speaking and executive presence as one is the same, but in actuality, they're a little bit different though there is a lot of overlap. You can be the type of person that has outsized executive presence in a smaller setting or one-on-one or one to a few, but totally freezes up or is wooden or just horrible in terms of a large crowd.

I've been fortunate enough throughout my 20 plus career to witness lots of great public and executive presence and some where frankly, I was a little bit surprised. Like if you look at the level of the person and their reputation and maybe your personal interactions, you're kind of shocked when from a public speaking perspective, the executive presence that they normally have, doesn't really come through.

So what's going on and what can you do to ensure that you have great executive presence, not just in a smaller setting, but also on the big stage, which I would argue is not more important, but is equally as important as having executive presence in a smaller setting.

One thing that I've always tried to do is when I see a great public speaker, And someone who has amazing executive presence as part of their public speaking, I watched them like a hawk.

Now it's really important to know what to watch for. I'm not really looking particularly for any specific item, like, okay, how do they open or what are the exact words that they close? Right?

What I'm looking for is. What are they doing that enables them to connect to the audience? Right? So for example, if they say something and the audience laughs, then it's not so much that I should tell a joke, it's that they've identified where there is a situation where humor will help you connect with the audience either because there's some tension or maybe, they don't know what to expect, or maybe it's just a crowd that, you know, enjoys a good joke. They're able to deploy that, that particular strategy to connect with the audience.

So it's really important when you're watching a great speaker to understand why they're doing what they're doing and how it helps them connect with people, not just what they're doing. Because if you do the wrong "what" in the wrong place, then you're not really going to get the same result as that person had, just because you're imitating him.

So last point here, it really depends on the audience, right? If you go to Toastmasters or take any sort of public speaking course, one of the first things they say is it's not about you and your delivery, as much as it's about knowing the audience and knowing what their expectations and their needs are. Because the more you know them, the better you can understand what you need to do to connect with them, and once you're connected, you're full executive presence starts to come through with the public speaking.

So next time you see someone who's an amazing public speaker or has great executive presence, try this. Just watch them. Forget about the specific things they're saying, but watch for effect. Why is what they're saying connecting? How is it helping them connect with the particular audience, which in this case is you, and perhaps other people in the room.

I'd love to hear from you on Anchor.fm or on the app, if you want to leave a message with your thoughts or questions on executive presence. My name is Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor. Thank you for listening to Executive Presence Morsels. Remember, it's not what you say, do or wear, it's how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing else matters.