Scared into Mediocrity

The more successful I get, the more I realize just how scared I am. Not scared of success, I’ve never been humble in that way. I’m working on that. No, it’s the more common fear of failure, fear of not being enough, and fear of loss. It’s like an anxiety provoking, paralysis-by-analysis trifecta of unease.

In a moment of reflection about some recent successes I’ve had, I realized that your successes don’t determine your success. I know what you’re thinking. “He’s going to go on about how great failure is now. Snooze. Been there, read that!”

The thought did cross my mind, but what I realized is, your failures don’t determine your success, either!

So if your successes don’t determine your success, and your failures don’t either, what does?

The main determinant of your success is how aware you are of who you are and how you are supposed to be (notice I didn’t say what you are meant to do) and how much you are able to align your life to that North star.

When you are operating more often than not according to this “true” version of yourself, this makes you relentless, unstoppable, and at the end of the day, by the only measures that count, undeniably successful.

This shift comes with one unbelievable benefit. Total freedom from success and failure. Perhaps only half of that statement sounds good to you, but please humor me for just a moment.

What I mean is, successes will come and go, as will failures. Those outcomes, in and of themselves are not important in the grand scheme of things. What is important is how those successes and failures are used in service of your North Star. A success can both move you on the right path or take you away from it. It’s the same way with failures.

Here’s the beautiful and liberating thing. When you know who you are and how you are supposed to be, as long as your successes and failures are put into alignment with this, they can all be celebrated. They all have a role to play in your growth and journey.

So don’t be envious of success or fearful of failure. And don’t celebrate failures and humble-brag your successes. Instead, spend every bit of energy you can bringing whatever happens into the perspective and alignment of your North Star. In the end, this is the only success that matters.

I think Coach Taylor summed it up quite nicely in Friday Night Lights,

“Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”