Why are we so susceptible to innocent lapses of self-control? I'll just have one more bite/sip of that. I'll just watch a few minutes of the next episode. And the classic, just one more level!

Our tendency to repeatedly fall into this trap reminds me of the perennial gag from Peanuts.  The one where Lucy promises Charlie Brown that this is the year she will let him kick the football. And of course, he always falls for it, finds only air and ends up on his back.

What's going on here? Some might say people lack of self-control and of course, to a certain extent, this is part of it. Another aspect to consider is for any activity, it's the first step that is often the hardest to take and then, like a boulder rolling downhill, momentum takes over. We all implicitly know this to be true, but when engaging in a guilty pleasure type activity, we tend to ignore this dynamic and lie to ourselves about its power.

Now what if you could harness this power for good instead of evil? Think of tasks in your life that are beneficial, but either because they are daunting or don't provide instant gratification, finding the motivation to tackle them is tough. Some that immediately come to mind - laundry, groceries, bills, exercise - pick your poison.

There is an EZPZ approach to getting these sorts of tasks done. Instead of committing to everything you have to accomplish, lie to yourself and only commit to doing a tiny bit. One load of laundry, one pushup, one bill payment is all you plan to do. This is a win-win situation because if you only do what you committed to, you've at least done something and you're done. What you will find, in many cases, is you will get on a roll and actually keep going beyond your initial commitment and before you know it, have accomplished the entire task!

So go ahead. Tell yourself lies. For your own sweet benefit.

Next post next Saturday, 6:30 a.m.

Have you ever been right next to someone you wanted to meet and froze? Or by the time you figured out what to say the moment, and your chance slipped through your fingers like a rogue ice cube? Have you ever had someone ask you about yourself and in your shock or excitement, a barely comprehensible avalanche of words tumbled out of your mouth?

All of the above has happened to me at some point. If you are anything like me, a few things occurred afterwards. First, I beat myself up. Second, the "perfect" thing to say came to mind...alas...way too late. And finally, I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen again.

An elevator speech is a tried and true solution to communicate about yourself in a brief amount of time. For instance, about the amount of time you have together with someone on the elevator. Essentially, it's like a "commercial" about you. The idea is you have this in your back pocket so you can call on it at a moment's notice.

Here are a few EZPZ tips on creating your own elevator speech, as well as how to keep the conversation going if the opportunity arises.

1. Prepare a one sentence introduction of you as a solution.

In the context of explaining the value you provide, your title or position is actually not that helpful. In fact, sometimes I intentionally don't mention I'm a lawyer to avoid all the lame lawyer jokes. Instead, think of a way to explain how your actions benefit those you serve.

Let's try an example. You are an accountant and process tax returns for individuals and you have a chance encounter with the CFO who asks you, "what do you do?"

Fail:  I'm an accountant and I help prepare individual tax returns.

Pass: I take the dread out of April 15.

So now that the elevator speech is out of the way, if your partner seems engaged and open to hearing more...

2. Tell a signature story with an interesting narrative

We all have at least one. It's a story that makes other people laugh or pleasantly surprises them. Maybe a bit edgy, but never controversial. Or for a more organic approach, it's something interesting that happened to you or which you observed recently. 

Now if, and only if, it seems you are moving into a full blown conversation, time to stop talking about yourself and learn more about the other person so...

3. Ask an open-ended question about the listener.

All open-ended questions are not created equal. I find that "how" and "why" questions create more opportunity for conversation to flow than "who, what, when, or where." That's because even though they are all open-ended questions, "who, what, when, and where" still lend themselves to one-word answers whereas "how and why" typically result in a more detailed response. For example...

You: So where did you work before you came here?

CFO: Becton Dickinson.

vs.

You: Why did you decide to join our company?

CFO: I used to work with your CEO at Becton Dickinson. In fact, he recruited me straight out of college and...

So before your next chance encounter, come up with your elevator speech and don't miss another EZPZ opportunity to connect with someone. Good luck!

Next post Saturday, 6:30 a.m.

I had just received some bad news. The terms of the deal I was working on had just gotten worse, but I needed to close the deal quickly. But how could I go about accepting worse terms without further weakening our position and ending up with a deal that was no longer worthwhile to make? This was the seemingly unsolvable problem that I faced from my desk one sunny afternoon.

Have you ever come up against a problem which seemed to have only bad solutions? Or none at all? Your mind runs in circles as you keep hitting brick walls. The funny thing about our brains is how they can be affected by our senses and our environment. The next time you come up against a tough nut to crack, try the following EZPZ steps to knock loose a solution.

1. Change how you feel

By feel I mean your sense of touch and not your favorite Air Supply song. Roll up your sleeves or kick off your shoes. Splash some water on your face or stick your head out the window. Change your clothes or the part in your hair. The key is to feel different and lead your mind to think differently.

2. Change your orientation

Stand up or sit down. Go for a walk or drive. Move to the opposite side of the building, the basement or the roof. The intention is to be in a different physical space with different visual and auditory cues to prompt a new perspective.

3. Change your flavor

Here's a no-brainer. Eat a piece of chocolate. Or your favorite guilty pleasure. Have some water, coffee or tea. Have something bitter to jump start your thinking. The idea is to trigger your taste buds to shift your mental state to one that just might open up a solution.

So I'm back at my desk sinking in quicksand. The more I struggle, the more fruitless my efforts become. I need to change things up so I take a walk through the hall, then outside, and end up sitting in my car. It's a sauna outside so I roll down my windows. As a refreshing breeze blows through I notice smiling people strolling by and enjoying the beautiful day. The gears turn. There's something important about this observation. Beauty. Joy. Teamwork. These are the key drivers in this potential partnership. By couching my acceptance of the single negative term as an acceptable accommodation in a deal that was an overall mutually exciting and beneficial relationship between two trusted and long-time partners, I was able to finalize the deal without further weakening our position. In the end, things worked out for the best.  

Next post next Saturday, 6:30 a.m.