Recently I was invited to be a guest on the podcast "Your Stories Don't Define You," hosted by Sarah Elkins.

We had fun swapping stories about various leadership fails, including my own. If you want to hear about how I crashed and burned, have a listen. 

Next post next Saturday, 6:30 a.m.

I have a confession to make.

For a while, I was making one of my female coworkers uncomfortable. This was someone who was junior to me and looked up to me as a mentor. The first time I made my half-joking statement, I could tell she wasn't sure how to take it. I said it a second time and got the same awkward response. You might be wondering why I would continue on in this manner. Well, if the third time's a charm I tried to clarify things by explaining why I said what I did and why I was doing it.

Here's what I had been saying. Or something to that effect.

"Keep doing what you are doing. One of these days I may very well be working for you and that would be totally cool. I'm serious."

Cue uneasy shifting in seat, awkward silence and eventually a dubious "Yeah, right!"

And here's my explanation, after which I stopped saying this.

"I know you don't feel comfortable when I say this so I'll stop. Let me explain the reason why I've been saying it. We all have long careers and people move up and down on their own timetable. I think you have tremendous potential and I don't want you to hold yourself back by thinking that you have to wait your turn or that whoever is ahead of you today will always deserve to be ahead of you tomorrow. Forget that! You have to be your best, whatever that is and don't let any false or unnecessary sense of loyalty, hierarchy or timing stop you or slow you down."

Apologies for the false advertising. It wasn't exactly a #MeToo creating moment. However, as much as I was saying it for her benefit, I think it was a lesson for me as well. There are many times I catch myself thinking, I can never do that as well as X, Y, or Z. Or so and so's forgotten more about widgets than I will ever know. While both of these may very well be true, the problem has more to do with my attitude than the veracity of the statements. No disrespect to any of the great bosses and mentors I've had along the way, but if I live my life believing that I should or will always be one floor below them, then I'm clipping my own wings.

Don't clip your own wings!

Give respect where respect is due, put in your time, and don't get cocky, but know and be okay with the possibility that one day you may soar above your previous teachers and leaders. And remember, anyone who tries to artificially slow down your ascent doesn't deserve to be on your team.

Keep moving forward and you will reach your summit.

Have you ever caught yourself holding yourself back? Did a shift in your perspective on success ever lead to significant results? If you have a story, success or otherwise, about clipping your own wings, I'd love to hear about it.      

Next post next Saturday, 6:30 a.m.

We hear a lot about the value of authenticity these days. Why it's important, the benefits, and how to get there. I'm officially on the authenticity bandwagon, but there is a pothole it's important to avoid. I call it the "Authenticity Snare."

Have you ever noticed you are well received and valued by one group and not so much in another? Have you ever acted the same exact way and one group responded with great applause and the other responded with jeers? Being authentic doesn't mean not taking others into account because to do so would be inauthentic. Being authentic doesn't mean acting exactly the same regardless of the circumstance. When we start to believe being authentic means we only need to act one way regardless of the circumstance and that we don't need to improve ourselves, we've officially fallen into the "Authenticity Snare."

Allow me to explain.

It's helpful to think of ourselves as a valuable gemstone. What makes a gem shine? What allows a gem to reveal its true value? Let's explore two aspects.

First, a gem has many facets or sides. A single gem would not be as brilliant with just one facet. The many facets work together to catch the light in a way that is more effective than if they were working separately. Depending on the lighting, the way the gem is turned and what facet is most prominent is important. In the same way, you have more than one facet to present to the world and depending on the situation and audience, bringing certain facets to the forefront will allow you to shine more brightly. A jovial and engaged persona might be a hit with one group, but not with another. Perhaps the other group requires your more thoughtful and objective persona.

Second, a gem benefits from polishing. The sparkling beauty of even the most perfect diamond will not be apparent if it is covered with dirt. Polishing does not change the inherent value of what is underneath, but it allows its full potential to shine through. In the same way, you will benefit from constantly learning and improving yourself. You don't have to be anyone else, but that doesn't mean you won't benefit from working on yourself. Making a habit of polishing your skills removes the barriers that might otherwise blur and obscure your full amazingness. Is that even a word? 

When we live authentically by improving ourselves constantly and understanding what facet to bring forward in what scenario, we avoid the "Authenticity Snare" and can truly shine our brightest.

If you have experienced challenges with living your authentic life or have successes to share, I would love to hear from you!

Next post next Saturday, 6:30 a.m.