Tuesday, July 20 2021

Today: What does being resolute have to do with executive presence? Find out how executive presence works and what it means for you.

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

“Remember, it’s not what you say, do, or wear. It’s how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing. Else. Matters.”

Let's talk about another partial misconception about executive presence. And that's the thought that if you have have executive presence, it's a gene or some sort of tool that you have in your pocket, and you can just bust it out anytime you want and use it — no matter what the situation, if you choose to use it.

Now, the problem with that conception is executive presence isn't really transferable across domains or situations, except when it sometimes is. So what do I mean by that? If we take a look at our original definition of executive presence, which is: executive presence is the ability to inspire confidence that you can lead well in a given situation.

So if you think about that, just because you can inspire confidence that you can lead well in one scenario does not necessarily mean that will hold true in another scenario. What's going to change? Well, besides the scenario, changing, the audience can change. Your skill level or your confidence or your ability to inspire a company can change as well.

Everyone knows someone though, who seems to have outsized executive presence and it seems like they can almost do anything like you would follow them to do almost anything. So you may be wondering, well, what about that, Joe? How come those people seem to have executive presence in every scenario?

So, what I would say is that they do definitely have executive presence across more scenarios than let's say the average person who you'd only think that they have executive presence in one or two given scenarios. And the reason that is, most likely because they have highly attuned their ability to inspire confidence, even when they don't really know as well what they're doing, or the other people, it's a new sort of scenario or crowd.

Their ability to really connect with the other people, whoever they are to inspire confidence, regardless of the task, is really a special skill and allows them to have executive presence in areas where a lot of other people might not have it.

So, that's one thing to consider that don't be discouraged if you don't have executive presence in every single scenario. It's not intended to work that way. You will have executive presence though, as long as you can inspire that confidence that you can lead well.

So, many different paths to get there. No matter how you do that, as long as you meet that requirement, you can and will have executive presence regardless of your experience in that area, regardless of whether you're the best person to lead. Again, it's not about merit. It's about that feeling that you engender in other people. That's what gives you the executive presence.

There's this great way that you can participate by sharing a message on Anchor.fm with your thoughts or questions on executive presence. I'd love to hear from you. My name is Joe Kwon, the Connection counselor. Thanks for listening to Executive Presence Morsels. Remember, it's not what you say, do, or wear. It’s how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing else matters.

Monday, July 19, 2021

Today: What does being resolute have to do with executive presence? Find out how executive presence works and what it means for you.

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

“Remember, it’s not what you say, do, or wear. It’s how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing. Else. Matters.”

There is a common misconception when it comes to executive presence and the results that it gets. A lot of people think that if you have executive presence, then everyone will always just go along with your idea or what you want to do, no matter what.

And nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if you are counted on to do something important as an executive, which means it's something that not just anyone could do, you should count on getting resistance, people trying to do something against your efforts for their own intentions, or because they think it's the best intentions for the team, or the company.

So what really marks an executive and why people feel you have executive presence is another one of the six degrees of executive presence. This is the second one after proactive I call it being resolute and resolute means marked by firm determination.

So what that means is when resistance is encountered, and you should expect it to happen at times, because what you're doing is not an easy thing. How do you respond? Do you just flip-flop? Or do you start to doubt yourself or reverse direction at the sign of the slightest unrest, or unpopularity? Or do you firmly proceed with your original idea and plan?

Now, being resolute shouldn't be misunderstood as being stubborn, or being obstinate. Someone with executive presence, when they understand that there's a better way to go, and when the data and their intuition shows that maybe their original plan was not the best, they're also able to adapt and change.

So the key is, are you resolute until it's time not to be doing that same thing anymore? And people really look for that in people they follow because they don't really want to follow someone who's constantly changing their mind or can be so easily swayed or convinced to do things another way. It gives people whiplash, or it's a feeling of motion sickness or sea sickness. I hate that feeling. Because you just don't know which way that person is coming or going.

A fun example, I love from “The Princess Bride” about someone being resolute is the character Inigo Montoya. For decades, he's searching for the Six Fingered man, the man who the villainously killed his father when he wouldn't sell the sword for a really cheap price.

So for years and years, he's searching for this Six Fingered man asking people when he meets them, "Excuse me, do you happen to have six fingers?" And when he finally does meet the Six Fingered man and gets into a sword duel with him, and the man realizes that he's going to lose, he tries to waffle his way out of it and offer Inigo, money, power, whatever he wants. But of course, that's not going to bring back Inigo's father, and he doesn't accept any of that and he kills the Six Fingered man.

So think about the quality, the state of being, being resolute when you're in a situation where you need to show executive presence — especially when you anticipate that there will be some resistance or some difference of opinion. And remember, it doesn't mean being stubborn. It means being firm and determined, until it's time to adapt or change.

Thanks for listening to Executive Presence Morsels, this is Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor. Remember, it's not what you say, do or wear, it's how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing else matters.

Today: Are you doing everything you can to develop executive presence in your team members? Are you inadvertently stopping them from fulfilling their potential? Find out how executive presence works and what it means for you. Thank you to Michael Orth for his insights, which informed this episode.

Your turn: We'd love to hear from you. Use the "Message" button on the Anchor app to share a story, question, or feedback related to this episode. Or email us at joe@connectioncounselor.com

Learn more: Details about the book, online course, YouTube tutorials and more can be found at www.connectioncounselor.com/executive-presence-place

Music: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann is licensed under a CC0 1.0 Universal License

Transcript

Hello, this is Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor. So far, we've been talking a lot about developing your own executive presence. But, what if you need to develop more executive presence in those you lead? So your team or those who you work with, because in order for you to be able to get the best results, you need folks who work for you, or with you to also have executive presence, and for whatever reason, it's not at the level that you need it to be at.

And, you don't need to take an assessment to know that, you can just tell when someone is not bringing that particular quality to the work that they do in the way people respond and react to them, including your own kind of assessment of the confidence that they inspire for you.

So today I want to share with you one really important insight that can really help you as a leader to develop more executive presence in your team. And this insight was inspired by an observation that, a mentor and a very cherished colleague of mine, Michael Orth, he's, at KPMG with me, in Communications.

And he was featured on one of my podcasts, "Why It Works," and the topic was "status plays." So in terms of an organization, just a fancy way of saying like, are you up, are you down? How high or low are you in the pecking order of the organization? One observation that Michael made during our episode was that sometimes in order for others to come up, you as the leader need to come down...in terms of your status.

Not in terms of your competence or your contribution, but sometimes, if you think about it, if you, as the leader shine too bright and have all the answers and are always going over the top and correcting everything, and not allowing others to sort of shine or give it a chance or to be given their own moment to lead, you sort of create an environment where no one's going to want to step out and do that because whatever they do will just be quashed or it will be made to look less than, because you are shining so brightly.

And that could be really difficult for the team and to not do that can be really difficult for leaders who are extremely skilled technically in the area that they need their people to lead.

So in a way, by you doing less, you allow them to develop more executive presence and to do more. Because if you think about it, you know, you could use the metaphor of a seesaw, right. For them to go up, you need to go down a little bit. And then when they go down, sometimes you're all the way up.

So it's sort of counterintuitive, but for others on your team to develop executive presence, think about the status your at and whether it always needs to be at the same level. In certain situations, your status should be higher and you should be driving the conversation, but not all the time, right?

Especially for those who are high potential and you see them being able to develop and you feel that, but for some reason, they're not really taking the reins. Take a hard look at what you can do to enable them to do that and to trust that they are in an environment where their executive presence can be fully developed because only by getting those repetitions and the practice, will they be able to develop confidence.

And this is our definition of executive presence, again, will they be able to "inspire confidence in others that they can lead well, in a given situation." So thanks so much, Michael, for those insights. And I hope those of you in the audience, may find this useful in terms of your management type responsibilities.

Have you been enjoying the show? Would you like to share your thoughts, ask a question, or perhaps have your contribution featured on a future episode? If so, record a message on anchor FM on the website or the app. I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks for listening to Executive Presence Morsels. Remember, it's not what you say do or wear, it's how you make people feel that generates executive presence. Nothing else matters.

This is Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor. Thank you. And talk to you next time.