How To Make All The Right Moves So Everything Runs Smoothly
You’ve got this! You’ve done this project hundreds of times before so you know exactly what is needed and how to get there. Only this time in recognition of all your previous efforts and to invest in your professional development, you are being asked to supervise instead of implement. So you hand-pick your team, let them know the plan and what you get back is…totally different that what you wanted!
You are understandably frustrated because the team you picked is 100% capable of doing what you asked them to do. So how it possible that what you asked for and what they delivered are so totally out of sync? You rack your brain and cannot find any obvious disconnect. Maybe there is something you are missing here?
THE FIVE PRINCIPLES OF FLOW
Earlier, we explored how the 5 Principles of Flow can help us change directions more smoothly and effectively. Now, let’s take a look at what they can teach us about leading others more effectively.
When you ask someone to do something, and what they do is so far off from what you wanted, what do you think is happening?
There are two basic types of explanations. The first is the one the most people reach for – we assume that the person just didn’t understand what we wanted or they did understand, but ignored us. Notice at whose feet we’ve squarely laid the blame. Certainly, you could not have been part of the problem! You have excellent communication skills. People are stupid.
But what if there is more to it? Enter the second explanation. What can happen, and I’m guilty of this myself, is sometimes we do not clearly understand ourselves what we want. As a result, we make a vague or inaccurate request. It is only after we see what the person delivers to us that we start to get more clarity on what it is we really want and it is not what they delivered. If we had known what we wanted in the first place, both of us would have saved time and frustration.
Principle #5: The more unambiguous your movement, the better your partner can respond.
Look in the mirror. Point a finger at your image, lock eyes with your reflection, and let loose, “J’accuse!” Notice how the blame has shifted here?
Have you ever tried to follow someone who was really lost and terrible at directions? Apologies if that person was me. How easy was it to follow them when they kept changing directions, backpedaling, and going in circles? Contrast this with someone who is a human GPS and signals confidently before every turn as they drive smoothly, with the fewest number of turns, to the final destination. Notice how one person is much easier to follow.
“Surely, you are not telling me that I am the only one responsible for steering things?”
Your responsibility is to move with as much clarity as possible, so that the other person can respond properly. If you are confused, you can’t expect them not to be confused. The other person will always have their own responsibility around how they steer themselves, but by moving with clarity, we make it easier for them to stay connected.
When we are more clear about what direction we are moving in, it helps others to stay connected and find the flow.
This article was adapted from the new leadership book, Unlock Your Connection. Find it here, along with other books from the Unlock Your Leadership series.
Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor is a leadership coach and keynote speaker who helps elevate careers by unlocking the ability to better connect with yourself and others. Contact him if you'd like his help.
To find out more and to access free leadership videos, podcasts, and guides, go to www.connectioncounselor.com.