I still remember that moment like it was yesterday, with an odd mixture of bemusement and shame. My very young son said something that sounded so obnoxious and so much older sounding than his years. I struggled to figure out where he learned this phrase, something along the lines of, "Well, that's not very helpful," and realized in horror he learned it from me!

Reality - 1, Joe's ego - 0. 

Most of the time, other people are a poor mirror through which to see ourselves. Our friends and colleagues, no matter how clearly they see us, generally sugarcoat things in order to avoid conflict, conserve energy and because of a relatively small investment in who we become.

Our parents know us better, but there are challenges here, too. Rose-colored glasses, guilt, or fear of damaging the relationship can all argue against sharing too much truth. 

Now on the other hand, our young children, they have no agenda. They just reflect back what they see and hear. Got a problem with road rage? Don't be surprised at the words and gestures they have magically learned. Stingy with tips? The same behavior will be modeled. As I learned that day, our young children are a brutally accurate mirror of who we are.

It's a gift really, if we open our hearts to accept the unintentionally provided feedback. It is a chance to really know ourselves better and without the doubts about the other person's agenda getting in the way.

Why is this important, Joe? I have a good life and though I'm not perfect, do I really need to take cues from a child? Or maybe I don't have a kid and I'm pretty happy with who I am. Why should I even bother thinking about this? 

You have every right to be happy with who you are and minimize consideration of feedback concerning yourself. Plenty of people go through life this way and seem to do alright.

The key thing to remember here is that your world is a reflection of who you are. We can only give what we have inside. And in a righteous twist of karma, we can only receive what we give. So if you want something in your life, you must possess it yourself first, and then give it to others. If you want a loving person in your life, you must love yourself AND be a person who gives love to others. Only then will love come into your life. There is no amount of power and money that will work to enable you to order up love and have it delivered to your doorstep like Amazon Prime same day delivery. 

On the other hand, if you find your life and the company you keep miserable, stop and consider for a second whether you are miserable inside and are unconsciously projecting and attracting the very misery you abhor by the way you move through life.

The world is configured to be a REFLECTION of who YOU ARE. And since the world is a reflection of you, you are the source. The source comes first.

Next post next Saturday, 6:30 a.m. 

Everybody loves a comeback and the clearly recorded wins and losses in sports lend a certain simplicity and focus to such stories. Rocky, Rudy, and Friday Night Lights all highlight victories of one sort or another in the face of adversity.

At a young age Croatian tennis pro Mirjana Lucic-Baroni was a rising star with a string of successes, most notably winning the women's doubles title at the 1998 Australian Open. She was only 15-years-old. In the following years, she experienced many hardships, fewer successes, and eventually stopped playing in 2003. A few years later she embarked on an uphill return to professional tennis.     

Fast forward to the 2017 Australian open when Mirjana had a moment. The veteran defeated her 21 year old opponent to win a spot in the quarterfinals - 18 years after the last time she reached this point in a major tournament.

Immediately after the match, the on court interviewer acknowledged her longevity and overcoming the odds and asked, "What would you say to anyone else who is having a tough time out on the tour?"

Mirjana initially spoke about her toughness and how hard she had worked. Then, she hesitated and said she couldn't say what she really wanted to because she would be fined.

The interviewer prompted her to share anyway, "Oh go for it. Go for it!" and swept up in the moment, that was all the encouragement she needed.

With a touch of defiance beneath her composed exterior she shared this advice, 

"F everything and everybody, whoever tells you you can't do it. Just show up and do it with your heart."    

 The crowd applauded and whistled in support. If you've been struggling for a while now or are just down and out and need a kick start, I dare you to watch the interview and not feel inspired.

 

Note: She would win her next match, too, before going on to the semifinals and losing to Serena Williams, the eventual champion. To me, that's still a fairy tale ending and worth the price of admission.

Next post Saturday, 6:30 a.m.