Do you ever wonder about people who seem to do very little, but continue to advance?

You honestly can’t understand what the higher ups see in this person. Do you feel your hard work often goes unappreciated and unrecognized? Do you ever wonder if you are missing out on something crucial?

The topic of personal branding tends to receive some negative backlash. Like any type of marketing or sales, there can be the feeling that style or tricks of persuasion are being substituted for merit and substance. When laced with nefarious intent, I tend to agree. We need look no further than the classic confidence man or woman to see how marketing tactics, employed with selfish intent, can be used to help oneself at the expense of others. Did I mention there is this Nigerian prince I know who needs your help?

Most people, and I include myself in this cohort, operate in the default mode that if keep your head down, work hard, and provide value, your just rewards will come eventually. I agree with this in a limited sense. If you do all these things, you will indeed obtain increased mastery in your field plus the internal reward of high self-esteem. However, this approach by itself does not guarantee recognition or success in terms of recognition by management and career advancement.

To move forward in any endeavor, you need supporters on your side. In other words, you need to be connected to others who will support you, mentor you and most importantly, when it comes to career advancement, advocate on your behalf when you are not in the room. This is were the gap is.

If you spend all your time working and neglect ensuring people know who you are and the value you provide, then you will have the bare minimum of supporters on your side. If you trust, but DON’T verify that your boss is making sure you get the credit and recognition you deserve, you are taking a big risk. Keep in mind that your boss may not intentionally be ignoring or neglecting you. They may just be very busy and have limited mind space to know what you think they should know already.

You know the science riddle, "If a TREE falls in the forest and no one is there, does it make a sound?"

Ask yourself:

If you do great work and nobody knows about it, do you get rewarded?

If you want different results, a good place to start is by doing things differently. The great thing is, the best results often come as a result of small changes. Nudges. Tweaks. I wouldn't ask you to change your values, priorities or your value proposition. So what am I proposing?

There are 2 EZPZ tweaks you can make to improve your personal branding and career results. They do come with a few requirements. First, you must be open to change. Second, you need the discipline to follow through and keep it up even when the results are not immediate. And third, you need to be willing to manage through any discomfort you may experience while tending to an area you had previously neglected.

Step #1 - Tell story sandwiches, with your value at the tasty center

To improve your personal brand, you must get comfortable with talking about the value you provide. That’s it. I’m not talking about bragging or becoming egotistical.

“But Joe, I’m not comfortable tooting my own horn. It seems self-serving and not particularly credible.”

You bring up a fantastic point. Talking about yourself does have the inherent problem that people may be on guard and not respond as well when you are praising yourself.

So what is the solution?

Everybody loves a story. Stories that highlight the value you bring are more credible and effective than just outright announcing your achievements.

Think about it this way, when someone asks you what you have been up to or your boss asks you how’s it going, how do you reply?

Response A:

“I’m doing great. The other day I finished Project x, which was a great success. I even got a compliment from the business stakeholder!”

Response B:

“You’ll never believe what happened. Remember Project x? I thought everything was going great when ____. I was sure it was going to be a disaster, but then _____. So then I remembered ____ and decided to do ____. It was still a 50/50 chance, but with a little help from ____ it all worked out. The funny thing is the business stakeholder was very complimentary of the work, but if they only knew!”

Bonus: Memorable stories have a viral nature. So if your story is memorable, others will share it so it’s no longer just you telling the story.

Step #2 - Be intentional with your timing

To improve your personal brand, you must not only show consistent value, but you should align the times when you highlight your value with when it will make the biggest impact.

In other words, time your kudos.

“How do I do this Joe? I’m not sure I understand what you are proposing.”

Work on ensuring that the value your bring is highlighted throughout the year, not just for one brief shining moment and then forgotten.

Also, think about the times when it is most important that people have your value in mind. Ask yourself, do you know when such critical moments are scheduled to occur? For example, before key assignments are handed out or before promotions are decided. Are you advocating for yourself in the run-up? It’s like an election. The most successful candidates maintain a solid brand all-year round, but in the months before voting it’s a full-court press.

Next steps

If you begin to take control of your personal branding by telling tasty story sandwiches, with your value at the center and start taking into account the timing of when people should have your value on their mind, you will improve you career results.

YOUR MOVE! From your perspective, what has been your experience with personal branding? What works? What doesn’t?

P.S. Do you want to leave it to chance whether you connect with someone or not? Do you enjoy the awkward silences that litter professional meetings, conferences and social events?

I've created a FREE guide to turning on your ability to click with anyone, anytime, anywhere. With one simple switch, you will dramatically change the way you experience the world.

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Joe Kwon is the Connection Counselor. He teaches busy professionals “How to Click with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere.”

Go to www.connectioncounselor.com for the FREE guide, “The Connection Switch” and access to coaching, the EZPZ blog, Why It Works podcast, and FREE online courses.

Next post next Saturday, 6:30 a.m.

Have you ever kicked yourself for not acting earlier? Like going food shopping the night before Thanksgiving, only to be greeted by empty shelves, frenzied shoppers, and endless lines? Or buying a shovel the day of a blizzard and noticing the store looks like a scene from the Walking Dead? 

How about with people? Imagine a husband (not me) on a shopping trip who reaches a hunger breaking point and becomes unbearably difficult. There's even a word for this - Hangry = hungry + angry. 

What about in business? An executive was running a consultancy helping mostly small businesses. One day he received a call from a Fortune 500 company asking for help. He was excited and offered to schedule an appointment first thing the next day. The woman on the phone said, "you don't understand...we will continue to lose a significant amount of money until this is fixed."

 I can be there in a few hours.

"NOW you understand," she said. He cleared his schedule, went to their facility right away and fixed the problem. The new opportunities that resulted helped catapult his business to the next level. 

You snooze, you lose

There are two potential problems with acting too late. First, your action may no longer be effective.

• The job being offered to you may not be available tomorrow.
• The ingredients for your favorite Thanksgiving dish may be sold out.
• You may need to channel MacGyver to fashion a shovel to dig out of the snow. 

In any case, you've missed your chance and the proverbial window of opportunity has closed. 

A second problem is your action may be less effective, resulting in additional pain or cost that could have been avoided. Let's consider the scenario of a shopping trip with a hangry husband (again, definitely not me). You finally stop to get some food, and the irritability abates somewhat, but the overall mood and trip have been ruined. 

So how do we get better at acting at the right time?

GETTING THE TIMING RIGHT

I started thinking about the importance of timing during a recent Aikido class. We were practicing a technique defending an attack that looks like a karate chop to the top of the head. Picture breaking a bottle directly over someone's head, just without the bottle.

All Aikido techniques require a high level of connection with the other person. When properly executing a technique, it should feel like both people are moving as one. Imagine the way professional ballroom dancers circle and move.

Recently, I've been thinking about the high level of connection and impressive timing exhibited during Improv comedy. Think about the Drew Carey show, "Whose Line is it Anyway?" I was curious to see if the principles underlying Improv might be applicable to Aikido so I checked out the book Improvisation for the Theater, by Viola Spolin. This is like the bible for improvisation, but don't take it from me. 

Her book is the bible.
~Rob Reiner

There is a connection exercise from the book called, "The Mirror." Player A makes a move (e.g., touching their nose) and Player B mirrors it. It's using movement and not words, but it feels a lot like the type of copying game we all experienced as kids. 

You: I don't feel like going today.

Them: I don't feel like going today.

You: Cut it out, I mean it!

Them: Cut it out, I mean it!

And if this person were feeling especially evil, they might take it up a notch and try to repeat what you were saying AS YOU SAID IT or even get ahead of you and finish your sentences.

As Player A and Player B continue to mirror and their connection strengthens, the lag between their movements gets shorter and shorter. In fact, at times it becomes hard to tell who is the initiating and who is following.

You see this high level of connection in various other areas. Think about the supreme helper who seemingly knows exactly what others need, even before it is verbalized. Or picture teammates who are so in tune they don't even need to talk or point, they just "know" what each will do and react accordingly. For example, watch a well-executed basketball fast break or the uncanny teamwork of the tennis doubles champions the Bryan brothers (who happen to be identical twins).

THE LOOK OF CONNECTION

So we're back in the dojo. My partner is attacking first (like breaking a bottle over my head). I'm defending and my initial movement is to raise my arm to meet his arm. Done properly, our raised arms meet in the space between us like crossed swords,  Zorro style. The later I raise my own arm, the closer the imaginary bottle gets to my head. So it is in my best interests to move as soon as he moves. 

So as soon as my partner raises his arm, I raise mine. I try to make it as simultaneous as possible. I'm not anticipating or moving first, rather I'm trying to minimize the lag. Because the attack and the defense are mirror images of each other, at times he thought I was confused and was attacking when it was my turn to defend. 

So what does any of this have to do with the right time to act, Joe? 

Great question, thanks. I believe this would be the right time for me to get to the point.  

The key to acting at the right time is to connect with others as part of single system, rather than thinking of others as a separate entity.

What I discovered through the mirroring exercise and the Aikido technique is that if you connect with the other person in a way where you begin to function as a unit, your response will naturally be a timely one.  So the feeling is instead of reacting to an external attack I'm mirroring his movement. Again, think basketball fast break or tennis doubles. 

Fortunately you don't need to be identical twins like the Bryan brothers to get into sync with others. And you don't need to be a master of improvisation, either, though I highly recommend improvisation exercises.   

In order to better connect and act at the right time, follow these two EZPZ steps:

Step 1. Pay attention with and practice situational awareness. 

Let's go back to the executive receiving the call from the Fortune 500 company. Dollar signs must have been running through his head. If he had not understood that he needed to drop everything and leave as soon as possible, he would have lost that opportunity.

Often in life and in business, people will not tell you explicitly what you need to do. They send you signals and expect you to understand. Can you imagine working with someone where you have to explicitly state or write down everything you need them to do? So situational awareness helps you avoid the situation where you realize too late what needs to happen and watch your opportunity vanish like a puff of smoke.

Step 2. Think and move as if you and other person are part of one system.

Now that you are paying attention and are aware, consider what actions you might take working together as a unit. There are times when this comes naturally. Someone sneezes and what do you say? God bless you or Gesundheit. What do you do when you see brake lights? You brake. I hope.

Sometimes it takes a little more thought. You are walking through a door and notice the person behind you has their hands full. If you are in a hurry and only thinking about your own needs, you may just let the door close and keep walking. However, if you are thinking of them like a friend, family member, or even just loosely as part of your community, you may pause and hold the door open for them. To act at the right time change your perspective from one of reaction to one of symbiosis.

I hope this approach will help you (and me) get better at acting at the right time. I don't know about you, but I don't like missing opportunities, shoveling snow with my hands, or getting a bottle broken over my head!

If you have any thoughts about good timing, improv or stories about when timing made a difference in your life, I'd love to hear about it. 

Last, but not least, an oldie, but a goodie about "really" being in sync.

Next post next Saturday, 6:30 a.m.