Picture this. You are leading a project and things are off to a great start. This is large part due to your leadership. At the start of the project, you gathered perspectives, did the research, and came up with a stategy that everyone agreed with. All your prep work and fine-tuning was worth it and when the project officially started, the team launched off the starting line like a rocket ship.

Just as you are about to reach the finish line, you get a nagging feeling in the back of your head. You check your project plan and notice that due to a miscalculation or error, the approach you are using - you know, the one you came up with and everyone agreed with - is in fact not going to work without some major changes. What should you do and how will you break the news to the team, who has been running 200 mphs for weeks based on your brilliant strategy.

In Unlock Your Executive Presence: Feel Like a Star I share the Six Degrees of Executive Presence. One of them is the state of being of being Resolute, defined as “marked by firm determination.”

In other words, you don’t change directions at the slightest sign of discontent or pressure. People know that your decisions have weight and they can trust you not to be fickle with decisions that impact their lives. However, this doesn’t mean you are stubborn and when there is a good reason to change and you do, this is also part of having Executive Presence.

However, none of this changes the uprising you fear will occur when you tell your team that things will need to change in order for the project to succeed. Through no fault of their own, they will have transition from the orderly path they have been on to a new, less familiar path. This change will potentially hurt morale, negatively impact productivity, and besides the ding on your reputation, threatens to derail the project. That said, not changing things is definitely not going to work either so you will have to break the news to the team one way or another. Let’s take a look at a few approaches that will improve your chances of success and decrease the likelihood of a team mutiny.

THE FIVE PRINCIPLES OF FLOW

Earlier, we discussed how sometimes we may need to do a little extra heavy lifting to get things going in the right direction. Let’s take a look at what the 5 Principles of Flow can teach us about changing directions smoothly and effectively.

Principle #4: The bigger the turn you want to take, the bigger the change you need to make.

Imagine you are in your favorite car zooming down the highway. If you want to veer slightly to the left or right, this is easy. All you need to do is slightly turn the steering wheel. Now what if you want to making a bigger turn? What if you suddenly decided to make a perpendicular turn or a full 180-degree turn?

To make bigger turns without losing control and crashing, you need to make bigger changes. Let’s look at two turning techniques.

Technique #1. Turn by incremental degrees to turn while maintaining most of your speed.

Think about how a highway curves to the left or right. The change in direction is gradual so you can continue to keep pretty much the same speed while turning.

In the same way, after you are connected to a person and heading one direction, if you want to change the direction both of you are heading as smoothly as possible, this is better done in degrees. This will take longer, but has the added benefit of causing less strain and allowing you both to continue moving at full speed. It’s like when you run at full speed while making a wide, sweeping turn until you are heading in the opposite direction.

“But Joe, what if I have neither the time nor the patience to accommodate such incremental change?”

Great question. That leads us into our second turning technique.

Technique #2: Turn by slowing to a complete stop, turning, then heading in the new direction to turn in the shortest time and distance possible.

Think about the impossibility of a car traveling at highway speeds being able to suddenly and instantaneously reverse directions. I don’t think this is even possible due to modern safety features, but if it were possible to throw the car recklessly into reverse, I imagine something horrible would happen. Again, don’t try this at home . . . or on the road.

What works better is a technique that anyone who has taken a driving test has had to learn. Commonly called a K-turn or 3-point turn, this maneuver allows you to change directions by slowing the car to a complete stop, then executing a series of back and forth turns until the car is facing the opposite direction from which it started.

In the same way, after you are connected to a person and need to change directions quickly, you will both have to stop moving in the direction you were, coordinate a series of back and forth turns, before starting to head in the opposite direction. This requires you to halt the momentum you had, but has the added benefit of taking less time to execute. It is like running at full speed, slowing to a complete stop, pivoting to face the opposite direction, then accelerating again to full speed.

Both techniques work equally well and one is not better other than the other. Which one you choose will depend on how much time you have, the difficulty of the change, the people who are being asked to change, and your own personal intuitions. By remembering to use one of these techniques, you maximize the ability to keep the flow of the project and the team as high as possible and reach a successful result for everyone involved.

I hope the first four of the Five Principles of Flow, starting here have been helpful. For the last one, Principle #5 we will look at what you can do to make it easier for people to follow your lead.

This article was adapted from the new leadership book, Unlock Your Connection. Find it here, along with other books from the Unlock Your Leadership series.

Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor is a leadership coach and keynote speaker who helps elevate careers by unlocking the ability to better connect with yourself and others. Contact him if you'd like his help.

To find out more and to access free leadership videos, podcasts, and guides, go to www.connectioncounselor.com.

Sometimes it feels like you are the only one in a conversation. You are engaged, telling great stories and asking great questions and in return for all your efforts you get…nothing, nada, zip. The problem is, you really need this person to engage to ensure the success of your project. As they continue to ignore your good faith efforts, it becomes harder and harder to ignore the “Abandon ship, abandon ship!” warnings blaring in your head.

I regret to inform you, if you want a better outcome, you have to make like a captain and stick with the sinking ship. However, the goal is not to go down with the ship. The goal is to save the conversation, develop rapport, and have a wildly successful project. The bonus is if it was easy and anyone could do it, you wouldn’t be nearly as impressive as you are! Luckily, there is a principle of flow that will transform your results when dealing with passive or unwilling team members.

THE FIVE PRINCIPLES OF FLOW

Earlier, we discussed how finding a path that works despite discomfort and matching the pace of your partner are key. Let’s take a look at what the 5 Principles of Flow can teach us about dealing with a person who seemingly doesn’t want to help.

Principle #3: Moving together requires enough energy to move both partners.

Picture that classic scene from movies where a fireman or solider carries an injured person out of a burning building. Cue epic music and hold for the slow-motion strut as the building explodes in the background. The injured person is draped over the shoulders of the rescuer. This is called a fireman’s carry and is a way to carry a person to safety without injuring yourself.

Have you ever tried to move someone whose body was totally relaxed? Do not, and I repeat, do not try this at home. It becomes exponentially more difficult to move a person, even if they are smaller than you, if their body is completely relaxed. It feels like the person has dissolved into a pool of Jello and suddenly tripled in weight.

“I have to disagree, Joe. I have no problem carrying an average-sized person in my arms.”

That’s right. You’ve pointed out an important nuance. It’s easier to lift and carry a person under certain conditions. When a person is conscious, it may not be obvious, but they are helping us in one or more ways. First, they are holding their body in a definite shape by providing some tension in their muscles. Second, they may be grabbing onto us so it isn’t entirely up to us to keep a grip on them. In both cases, they are providing some help, which decreases the amount of energy we have to provide.

Sometimes the person you are trying to connect with is not providing any help at all. You try to engage them, but they have checked out and have essentially left you to do all the work. Unless they provide some energy, it becomes much more difficult for you to provide all the energy yourself to move both of you forward.

“You’re not telling me it’s entirely up to me to move someone who is passively refusing to engage.”

I’m not advocating you carry the other person like a connection mule. You are right in thinking that a “do everything myself” approach will not work. However, the answer is not to abandon them in the burning building and give up. This is what we usually do after a few failed attempts at engaging. In our mind, our conscience is clear as we throw up our arms and exclaim, “Well, I tried and can’t very well do this all by myself.”

CONNECTION FIREMAN’S CARRY

In order to move forward when your partner is passively resisting, you have to perform the relationship equivalent of a Fireman’s Carry. You do this is by demonstrating, through word and deed, that you value their needs as much as your own. You must drape their needs over your shoulders, lift them up, and carry them forward alongside your own. The result is you are demonstrating, in a very powerful way, that you care so much about them that you are willing to take on this extra burden to move the relationship forward.

“Joe, this sounds exhausting. Surely, it’s not fair or realistic for me to carry the burden the entire time.”

That’s exactly right. Like a fireman’s carry, it is meant to move a short distance away from danger and towards safety. No one, not even a trained firefighter, can go too far in this mode. At some point, you will have to put the person down.

But, here’s the key. Your connection is not actually unconscious. They are just acting that way. When you carry their concerns, thereby showing them that you value theirs as much as yours, this creates a powerful emotional connection. This makes it more likely for them to engage. By engage, I mean voluntarily climb down off your shoulders, stand on their own two feet, and begin to run alongside you.

The power of this approach comes from how it builds the trust needed to start the other person moving of their own volition. Volition is defined as “the power of choosing or determining.” The word ultimately derives from the Latin verb velle, meaning “to will” or “to wish.” Also, the adjective “voluntary” comes from the same source.

The key is to move in a way that gets our partner to move of their own will, not through the force of ours. This is where we go wrong most of the time. We try to impose our will or convince the other person our will is right. Both of these techniques have a high failure rate. The more effective path is to move in a way that encourages them to join in and move themselves.

To succeed, It’s not enough to keep trying something that doesn’t work. If you are banging your head on a wall, sometimes continuing to do so just results in a bigger bump on your head. When you understand how to engage a passive or resistant person in a way that helps them want to engage, you increase the chances that your conversation, rapport, and ultimately project will succeed.

This is all great if people are still trying, but what if they have checked out. With Principle #4 of the 5 Principles of Flow we look at how you can change directions, even unexpectedly, without throwing everything, including your credibility, out of sync.

This article was adapted from the new leadership book, Unlock Your Connection. Find it here, along with other books from the Unlock Your Leadership series.

Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor is a leadership coach and keynote speaker who helps elevate careers by unlocking the ability to better connect with yourself and others. Contact him if you'd like his help.

To find out more and to access free leadership videos, podcasts, and guides, go to www.connectioncounselor.com.

See video below for some examples of the classic movie scene I was talking about. So cliche, but oh so satisfying.

There is a word, often overused, that means the output of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts — synergy. Most of us don’t have to be convinced of the benefits of teamwork and how working together, you can accomplish much greater things than you could have separately.

And while this sounds great in theory, you’ve probably also experienced times where you wished you could just work alone. Perhaps the team was not on the same page, arguing, or even working against each other. Sometimes, it gets so bad you start to wish everyone could just go to their own corners and work separately — a team in name only.

What is the difference between a team that is humming along like a well-oiled machine and a team that is grinding to a halt? If you want a better outcome for your team, a good place to start is by looking at what helps the respective parts work better together.

THE FIVE PRINCIPLES OF FLOW

In an earlier article we discussed how being connected and having the same goals as another team member is no guarantee of success. We learned the importance of staying commited, despite discomfort, to finding a way of moving foward that works for both people. Let’s build on what we learned from Principle #1 and look at another principle that will help your team run better.

Principle #2: Move at a pace that your partner can naturally match.

Think about running a three-legged race. Two people stand shoulder-to-shoulder with their inside legs tied together. In order to reach the goal and cross the finish line together you will need to stay in sync or you will be slowed down or worse, crash to the ground halting progress completely.

Ever notice what happens when you move at a pace that doesn’t match your partner’s? You encounter active resistance. If you are moving too fast and you try to pull them along faster than they are capable, the result is usually injury. Think about the effort involved in dragging your fallen, slower three-legged race partner roughly across the finish line. Conversely, when you are moving too slow and holding them back, the result is frustration and in some cases, even abandonment. Imagine your race partner untying your legs and saying, “What’s the point? I quit!”

The Secret to Matching Your Partner

In order to go as fast as possible, both you and your partner must be comfortable and relaxed so that you can move in a way that matches each other’s movements. The way to do this is counterintuitive — you do this by starting out going more slowly.

When you go slowly, you are able to move smoothly together. And when you move smoothly, you will move as quickly as possible under the circumstances. This concept is taught to soldiers and martial artists.

Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.

When students are having difficulty learning a new Aikido technique, sometimes the instructor will have us practice at half speed. Practicing at a reduced speed helps you learn the cleanest and most effective version of the movement, which is difficult to do when you are under pressure and rushing through a technique.

Moving slowly helps you when it is time to move at full speed. This is because you need the right form to be effective and when you rush, your form breaks down. When you move slowly, carefully, and deliberately, you’re preparing to move as fast as you can while still being effective. Think about the last time you rushed through something. When rushing we tend to stumble, fumble, and fall, so the increased speed actually works against our success.

When you begin by going slowly, both partners learn how to move more smoothly together, which means they will move as fast as possible. Going faster is not helpful if it results in your partner crashing and falling, either taking you down or making it even more difficult for you to move forward.

How we choose to handle ourselves, not others is the real key to teamwork.

When we move in the most helpful way for our partner, the situation, and the team — our actions contribute to a positive flow of teamwork. When you are on a team that is just not working well together, stop and figure out what you can change about your own actions to improve the situation. You may be surprised by the results!

This is all great if people are still trying, but what if they have checked out? With Principle #3 of the 5 Principles of Flow we look at the secret to succeeding when someone doesn’t even want to help.

This article was adapted from the new leadership book, Unlock Your Connection. Find it here, along with other books from the Unlock Your Leadership series.

Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor is a leadership coach and keynote speaker who helps elevate careers by unlocking the ability to better connect with yourself and others. Contact him if you'd like his help.

To find out more and to access free leadership videos, podcasts, and guides, go to www.connectioncounselor.com.