Rough week?

They say videos of cute puppies or kittens helps and I totally believe this. Smiling and laughter are very effective, too.

As for me, a funny commercial always puts a smile on my face. Hope this gives you a smile and a laugh, all in under 60 seconds.

To change your problems, change your values!

I don’t mean abandon your values. I don’t mean accept other people’s values. I mean reconsider what it is that you actually need and what values truly matter.

So if your value is you want your kid to get into a top school and your kid is not motivated, you have a big problem. Let’s assume this is not going to improve so this will be a problem that takes a lot of your time and energy and stresses you out. You care and that’s why it hurts so much.

But what if there was a different path?

Let’s take a look at changing that your values. Instead of valuing your kid getting into a good school, what if you changed your value to “I want my kid to live the best version of their life they can and I want to help them get a strong start.” Now with this new value, getting into a top school is no longer the only solution. There are countless other ways your kid can have a fulfilling life and countless other ways you can support them in this regard. Now you may have a better and different problem, like how do I help them discover their inner motivation and drive? Or how do I help them figure out how to transition best into adulthood and become a contributing member of society. Or how do I help them get into the best school for them that will prepare them for what is to come?

Notice how being stuck on a single value can be what creates the problems for you?

Again, to change your problems, change your values!

This information is for all the concerned, well-meaning friends, coworkers, family members and educators out there. You are a good person and you want the best for those you care about.

Let me give you what may seem like an obvious warning, but is something we all forget from time to time. I’m an offender, too.

The best way to instantly lose connection with someone is to judge them.

I’m not saying you roll over and accept whatever anyone does. And I’m definitely not advocating you forgo your discernment - defined as “keenness of insight and judgment.”

What I’m saying is if you want the best for someone, if you want to influence them in positive way, you must be connected to them. And when you are connected and they trust you, you can help them and they will be open to the full benefits of your discernment.

However, all bets are off when you judge them morally, intellectually, or emotionally. It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about whether you want to be effective in helping this person or not. And if it’s more important for you to be right than helpful, do you know why that is and might that be helpful to your own development to understand?

See what I tried to model there? I didn’t say, if you are more concerned about being right than helpful, you need to take a good look at yourself and see why you are so self-righteous.

So provide your feedback and be open and honest, but leave the judgment out of it if you want your excellent advice to have the best chance of finding a friendly home.