It’s that time of the year again. Everyone has to pick a side. I’m not talking about Trump or Biden, Coke or Pepsi, or Samsung or Apple. I’m talking about whether to make a New Year’s resolution or not. I’m talking about making a promise to yourself that may hold the key to having a great year, but also, if past performance is any indicator of future results, will not survive past 2 to 3 weeks.

To resolve or not resolve - that is the question.

You don’t need to go very far to find tons of articles on how to keep your New Year’s resolution. This is not one of them.

There is only one resolution you need to make this year and in any following year. It’s best to renew it every year so you will stay on course. It applies to everyone regardless of nationality, religion, or gender. It has no age limits and no minimum skill requirements. It’s so simple and so powerful, yet it will never make a Top 10 list of New Year’s resolutions alongside “lose weight,” “stop (insert bad habit),” or “call my mom more.”

The hands-down, all-time, best New Year’s resolution is:

“I choose to be who I am meant to be.”

Allow me to explain. It’s not about picking a vocation - accountant, construction worker, or musician. It’s not about fulfilling a role - partner or spouse, parent, or CEO. It’s not something that can be measured in dollars, likes, or awards.

It’s about choosing to be the person you were meant to be so you can make your best impact in this world. Each one of us has something special inside that is ready to be fulfilled, but only if we choose to embrace it.

Perhaps you’re not convinced there is more for you or you worry the barriers are too much. I don’t know your situation, so I won’t presume to tell you what you should or should not think. What I will share is regardless of where you find yourself right now, you have everything you need already to achieve your fullest potential.

Think of an acorn. Every acorn has the potential to grow into a great oak tree. It doesn’t need to buy anything or change anything about itself. Similarly, you already have everything you need inside you to fulfill your full potential. You don’t need to buy a course or a product, and you certainly don’t have to change who you really are. You are the acorn. You are also the oak.

I will make one concession. Like the acorn, you cannot grow in isolation. You cannot defy the laws of nature or reality. You must be in the world and interact with the world. You need the right conditions to thrive and grow.

However, for most of us, how we connect with the world is not the real barrier. The real thing stopping most of us is we have not made the choice to be who were were meant to be.

Instead, we move along and take the obvious things, the expected things, or the shiny things. These can all be satisfying in their own way, but let's be clear - these are detours from what you are supposed to be. The great thing about a detour is it doesn't mean all is lost. It's just a different path to the same place.

But you have to choose your final destination in order to have a chance of getting there. You may arrive tomorrow, in a year, or you may not fully arrive before your time is up. However, you will have been on the right journey and enjoyed getting closer to your destination by choosing to be who you were meant to be. You will do more of the things that matter to yourself, to others, and the world. What exactly you do and how you do it may take various forms and can change over the years, but you will always recognize it because it energizes you.

So whether you make a standard New Year's resolution or not this year, join me in making the only one that really matters:

“I choose to be who I am meant to be.”

“Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire.”

—St. Catherine of Sienna

Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor is a leadership coach and keynote speaker who helps elevate careers by unlocking the ability to better connect with yourself and others. Contact him if you'd like his help.

To find out more and to access his podcasts, EZPZ blog and free leadership guides, go to www.connectioncounselor.com.

To learn more about Executive Presence, check out the Connection Counselor’s YouTube series, the Executive Presence Spotlight here.

How to Increase Your Chances of Having the Best Career

We all have physical needs that if not met, will put you in danger quite quickly. These include, for example, food, water, shelter, and sleep. Without these, you will not survive for long.

However, there is more to life than getting our physical needs met. To feel truly alive, several emotional needs must also be met. These include, for example, belonging, agency, purpose, and connection. Without these, you will not experience the fullness of life.

If you stop and think about it, we spend a large part of our adult lives at work. For many people, work provides a large portion of their physical and emotional needs. It's no wonder that when people suddenly lose their job or retire even, this can send them into a tailspin. It is also one of the reasons why when we feel stuck at work, it can feel like torture.

One tradeoff that comes with working for a company instead of yourself is that someone else gets to decide how far you advance. What this means is no matter what you do, if those "deciders" don't want to advance you, you will be stuck. After a few rounds of this, your career can start to feel like a sadistic, rigged game of Monopoly. No matter how hard you work, how much you contribute, how much value you provide, the result is always the same. It's like year after year, you draw the same Chance card -- Go directly to Jail, Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200. To add insult to injury, you see others move past you as they draw a very different Chance card -- Advance to Go (Collect $200).

I'm not here to judge whether what is happening to you is right or wrong. My only goal here is to point out the way the game works because if we choose to play the game, we should know the rules.

However, there is one important difference between Monopoly and our careers. While we cannot control which Chance card we will draw (i.e., we cannot control what others will decide), we can stack the deck in our favor. The way we can do this is by developing Executive Presence.

Have you ever wondered what really determines how far most people go at work? You've probably seen lots of "good" leaders get stuck and "bad" leaders advance. What is going on here? For most people, it's not our technical ability, character, or loyalty that determines how far we advance. It's not even how much we contribute to the company. At the end of the day, it all comes down to what the "deciders" think about your ability to lead. Who will get the next assignment, opportunity, or promotion?

Will it be you or Jack? You or Jill?

This is why Executive Presence matters. It's not about having a title, the best clothes, or the deepest voice. It's about how other people perceive your ability to lead. Whether they are right or wrong is, at least initially, sort of besides the point. It's about getting the chance to prove them right or wrong. Most people would like to at least be given the chance to fail, but the stakes are high, so only a few are chosen. Never being given the chance is demotivating, demoralizing, and can even be heart-breaking at times. In order to avoid falling into this rut, it is important, no matter what level you are at, to cultivate Executive presence, which I define as follows.

"Executive Presence is the ability to inspire confidence that you can lead well in a given situation."

Simply stated, "deciders" give opportunities to people who they believe will get things done. Period. If they don't believe you can, you won't get the chance. Executive Presence is not just a nice to have, it is the ultimate key to unlocking your full career potential.

What this means is it is never too early to cultivate Executive Presence.

Executive Presence is the engine that powers your career.

When it stalls, so does your career. In the articles that follow, we will discuss how to generate Executive Presence so you can drive as far and as fast as you would like. The other option is to sit in the back seat while others drive past you. The choice is yours.

Let’s get moving!

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This article was adapted from the new leadership book, Unlock Your Executive Presence: Feel Like a Boss. Find it here, along with other books from the Unlock Your Leadership series.

Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor is a leadership coach and keynote speaker who helps elevate careers by unlocking the ability to better connect with yourself and others. Contact him if you'd like his help.

To find out more and to access his podcasts, EZPZ blog and free leadership guides, go to www.connectioncounselor.com.

To learn more about Executive Presence now, check out the Connection Counselor’s YouTube series, the Executive Presence Spotlight series here.

You’ve got this! You’ve done this project hundreds of times before so you know exactly what is needed and how to get there. Only this time in recognition of all your previous efforts and to invest in your professional development, you are being asked to supervise instead of implement. So you hand-pick your team, let them know the plan and what you get back is…totally different that what you wanted!

You are understandably frustrated because the team you picked is 100% capable of doing what you asked them to do. So how it possible that what you asked for and what they delivered are so totally out of sync? You rack your brain and cannot find any obvious disconnect. Maybe there is something you are missing here?

THE FIVE PRINCIPLES OF FLOW

Earlier, we explored how the 5 Principles of Flow can help us change directions more smoothly and effectively. Now, let’s take a look at what they can teach us about leading others more effectively.

When you ask someone to do something, and what they do is so far off from what you wanted, what do you think is happening?

There are two basic types of explanations. The first is the one the most people reach for – we assume that the person just didn’t understand what we wanted or they did understand, but ignored us. Notice at whose feet we’ve squarely laid the blame. Certainly, you could not have been part of the problem! You have excellent communication skills. People are stupid.

But what if there is more to it? Enter the second explanation. What can happen, and I’m guilty of this myself, is sometimes we do not clearly understand ourselves what we want. As a result, we make a vague or inaccurate request. It is only after we see what the person delivers to us that we start to get more clarity on what it is we really want and it is not what they delivered. If we had known what we wanted in the first place, both of us would have saved time and frustration.

Principle #5: The more unambiguous your movement, the better your partner can respond.

Look in the mirror. Point a finger at your image, lock eyes with your reflection, and let loose, “J’accuse!” Notice how the blame has shifted here?

Have you ever tried to follow someone who was really lost and terrible at directions? Apologies if that person was me. How easy was it to follow them when they kept changing directions, backpedaling, and going in circles? Contrast this with someone who is a human GPS and signals confidently before every turn as they drive smoothly, with the fewest number of turns, to the final destination. Notice how one person is much easier to follow.

“Surely, you are not telling me that I am the only one responsible for steering things?”

Your responsibility is to move with as much clarity as possible, so that the other person can respond properly. If you are confused, you can’t expect them not to be confused. The other person will always have their own responsibility around how they steer themselves, but by moving with clarity, we make it easier for them to stay connected.

When we are more clear about what direction we are moving in, it helps others to stay connected and find the flow.

This article was adapted from the new leadership book, Unlock Your Connection. Find it here, along with other books from the Unlock Your Leadership series.

Joe Kwon, the Connection Counselor is a leadership coach and keynote speaker who helps elevate careers by unlocking the ability to better connect with yourself and others. Contact him if you'd like his help.

To find out more and to access free leadership videos, podcasts, and guides, go to www.connectioncounselor.com.